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There’s Still A Long Way To Go For Gay Rights

July 24, 2011 in Gay & Lesbian, Politics with 3 Comments

Today is the day when the first gay marriages are being performed in New York. That’s a huge step forward and it’s great, but we need to remember that we still have a LONG way to go before we’ve got equality. I’ve been having a back and forth on Facebook with a classmate from grade school (I went to a very conservative Baptist school). One of his comments was “So you have gay marriage in New York, why are you complaining?” Let me explain why I’m still complaining…

Dan and I have been married since 2005. The problem is that our marriage is just not on the same legal footing as straight marriages. I’m being asked to be happy and content with the fact that a state here or there recognizes my marriage. But meantime…

  • I couldn’t give Dan a green card. What if his immigration status had been more tenuous? He would have had to leave the country and there’s a chance I couldn’t have followed him if he came from a country that didn’t recognize me as his spouse. (That’s academic for us, but isn’t for many bi-national gay couples). [Dan did finally get his green card this year, but the issue is that he should have gotten it 10+ ago based on his relationship to me.]
  • We’ve had huge legal bills to keep Dan in the country.
    • Before getting his green card Dan used to be here under NAFTA and we had to go through the process of getting him approved by immigration every year. The first few years we used a lawyer ($$) and then we had to do use a lawyer again after 9/11 when things got tighter… Very little of that would have been necessary if our relationship had been recognized and he had gotten a green card by being my spouse.
    • We had to incorporate our business twice because we did it wrong the first time. Immigrants aren’t allowed to be owners in the companies that sponsor them for work visas/statuses. Before 9/11 the INS didn’t really care, but after 9/11 we had to reincorporate the company ($$) so I was the sole owner.
    • We had to spend $5,000 on rather complicated wills. Since he wasn’t allowed to own the company that sponsored him if something happened to me we had to set things up so a trust would take over the company until he had his green card.
  • Health insurance has been an ongoing issue. 
    • In one company the (lesbian) general manager got rid of domestic partner benefits somewhat by accident (she didn’t realize the company had them since no one was using them). The executives over her were not gay friendly but luckily she was. When she realized her mistake she gave Dan a job so he’d have health insurance (he was already freelancing at the company). We just lucked out – most bosses don’t go that far for their gay employees.
    • When Dan was at other companies that weren’t so gay friendly I had to get health insurance through our company. That cost us an extra $800/month. While we could afford it, a lot of other gay guys and lesbians can’t. And for god’s sake – there were other things I would have rather done with the $800/mo.
    • Even now with Dan working for a gay-friendly state agency (CUNY) I get health insurance, but because the federal government doesn’t recognize our relationship Dan has to pay federal tax on my health coverage as if it were extra income. That tax is not imposed on straight couples.
  • Dan has had to do particular types of work to stay in the country. Since Dan’s Canadian he’s eligible to work here under NAFTA, but he had to do particular types of work – namely graphic design. If I had been able to give him a green card he probably would have pursued some other career option or had more time to pursue art. Only now that CUNY got him his green card last year does he have that flexibility.
  • If we’re hospitalized while traveling we may not be able to make medical decisions for each other. This is potentially a big one. Because there are places where our marriage is not recognized we may not be able to make medical decisions for each other in an emergency. We have executed heath care proxies and living wills but our attorney tells us they’re only valid in the state in which they’re signed. Other states can choose not to honor them.

So while it’s great New York is doing gay marriage now, unfortunately those marriages in many respects still aren’t equal to the same marriage performed in the same place for a straight couple.

My classmate from grade school went on to say “Actually, I feel bad for the situation you find yourself in, but as far as I vote, I answer to a higher authority than you and Dan. It’s not a personal insult.” Thing is, when you can look someone straight in the face and ask them to sit in the back of the bus, how are they supposed to interpret it? He, and people like him, are denying me my civil rights. They’re not necessarily bad people, they just don’t get how offensive their actions are to people like me. At one point he said “Let me ask you this, if you could get a green card would that make you happy? If you could have a ceremony in a liberal church would that make you happy?” What he doesn’t understand is that throwing scraps my way will never make me happy. I don’t want a little here and a little there. I want equality. We keep making progress (like gay marriage in New York), but we’re still not equal.

When you run across people who are against gay rights, please challenge them on their beliefs. They need their world view widened and you can make a difference…

Violent Crime In Harlem

June 29, 2011 in News, NYC with 0 Comments

The Mount Morris Park Community Improvement Association’s meeting last week with the NYPD, the District Attorney’s Office, and representatives from local methadone clinics was enlightening… The main speaker was Deputy Inspector Rodney Harrison – who is in charge of the 28th Precinct.

As I mentioned in another blog post, there was a murder on our block the week before. Apparently there has also been a couple gun incidents at 120th and 7th Avenue (ACP) where there seems to be an on-going dispute between two drug dealers centered – though no one was actually shot. In addition, in East Harlem there have been 4 shootings in the past 4 weeks, one involving the death of a 15 year old. While that seems like a lot, apparently violent crime is actually down in the 28th Precinct year-to-date, but the 28th Precinct doesn’t cover East Harlem. This is the area covered by the 28th Precinct…

28th Precinct - Harlem

I learned a lot about the neighborhood at the meeting. One of the first items of discussion were the methadone clinics on 124th between Lenox and 7th Avenue (yes, clinics – plural). Two of the clinics were represented at the meeting, and apparently there is a third clinic (Harlem United) on that same block, but they declined to attend the meeting. That’s just that one block. There are other clinics throughout the neighborhood and an even greater concentration of clinics in East Harlem. The methadone clinics are a problem – not so much in terms of violent crime, but in terms of trash and loitering. However, the clinics that were at the meeting talked about how they do patrols from 123rd to 126th several times a day and any of their patients who are seen repeatedly loitering are thrown out of the treatment programs.

Still, where there are drug addicts there’s going to be drug dealing, and where there’s drug dealing there’s usually violent crime. Compounding the problem – once the addicts are thrown out of the program the clinics can’t do anything about them. At that point it becomes a police issue. Deputy Inspector Harrison was incredible in that respect – he gave out his personal cell phone number and e-mail address and told people to call/text/email him when they saw things. While 911 and 311 are great – going directly to the precinct is more effective. The police have zero tolerance for loitering – the exception being people hanging out in front of their own buildings.

One important point was made – do not get confrontational with loiterers (or anyone for that matter) – let the police take care of it. You never know who has a knife or a gun on them – it’s just not worth it.

When it comes to serious/violent crime the vast majority of it happens in the lower part of the precinct – around Lenox Ave – between the park and roughly 116. I know someone who lives on 113th between Lenox and St. Nick (a Russian guy who’s a friend of my nephew) and his experience with the neighborhood is completely different from mine – he talks about how rough and dangerous it is. Deputy Inspector Harrison mentioned that 114th Street was one of the most dangerous streets in the precinct. In fact he suggested that when people walk around the neighborhood they avoid problem spots like 114th Street, and the corner of 120th & 7th Ave.

When asked what the community could do there were a number of things…

First, be the eyes and ears of the police – when you see something, call the precinct.

Second, install cameras – they make a big difference – crimes are solved much faster when there’s a video available. It costs homeowners about $1,000 per camera. Given that most of us are investing over $1M in our places, it’s a very small price to pay to have a camera or two (or in our case 5 or 6). The cameras the police use are targeted to areas with lots of tourists and lots of violent crime. Inspector Harrison called the cameras “million dollar cameras” – I’m not sure that they actually cost $1M, but they aren’t cheap – so there aren’t many of them around. There are cameras on 125th Street and a few other areas, but getting more of them is difficult. However, the precinct actually has a crime prevention officer who will help you choose and position cameras you buy. His name is Vic Peña – call the precinct and ask for him.

Third, petition politicians for more police and more money for the precinct. Because crime has been going down the City has felt justified in cutting the number of police in Harlem, but when there are fewer police the crime rate goes back up (as is happening in East Harlem). The City does give support when a precinct is having a spike in crime. The 28th is getting help from the narcotics unit for 120th & 7th Ave, and the precinct in East Harlem is getting reinforcements. We live in Washington Heights at the moment and there’s increased police presence here as well because of all the rapes. But the precinct needs more than that. More funding means they can do more outreach programs to teens in an effort to prevent the crime from happening in the first place.

One other thing Inspector Harrison talked about was that iPhone and iPads are particularly popular with criminals right now. He’s finding that criminals aren’t mugging people for money – they just grab your iPhone and run. The simple way to avoid this problem is to try to not use your iPhone/Android much when you’re on the street. If you need to use it, be aware of your surroundings.

In the end there’s violent crime everywhere and violent crime is generally down in Harlem. It’s really not that unsafe. With a few basic precautions (like avoiding problem areas, not being confrontational, reducing the use of your iPhone on the street, and not being involved in drugs) you can feel pretty safe in Harlem.

IMHO, what Harlem needs most to prevent crime are residents who simply don’t put up with crime. If criminals know people will cooperate with the police and if they know there are cameras that will see what they do – they’ll move to another area.

“Body Block” Claims Another Victim

June 18, 2011 in News with 1 Comment

While our block is leaps and bounds better than it used to be, serious things still happen on the block and unfortunately it’s continuing to earn it’s nickname – “Body Block”…

Wednesday was Dan’s birthday, but we put off celebrating it until Thursday. We met a friend (who was celebrating his 50th – the same friend who was in the photo op last year) at the house at 6, showed him the progress, and at 7pm we walked over to Red Rooster for a drink. Apparently about two hours later there was a shooting – one guy was killed and another received a non-fatal wound. Here’s the police announcement about the investigation…

On Thursday 6/16/2011 in front of 135 West 123 Street, a young black male was shot multiple times.  Responding officers of the 28 Precinct found victim in front of location where he was rushed to Harlem Hospital and was pronounced dead at 9:24pm. 30 minutes later a second victim walked into Harlem Hospital with a non life threatening gun shot wound.  It was discovered by 28 Detective Squad that incident was linked to 123 Street shooting.  This case is still currently under investigation by the 28 Detective Squad, any information please call 28 PDU at 212-678-1608.  You will remain anonymous!!

I’ll post a picture of the building when I get a chance. It’s the 1930ish apartment building next to the old lodge (that’s now under construction). It’s roughly across the street from the place where lots of people hang out on the stoop (136 West 123). The guys were hanging out on the stoop when we went past. They never concern me – they all seem to be pretty nice. They’re older guys who are pretty mellow. But younger “thugs” are the ones who worry me. (If you don’t want to be called a ‘thug’ – don’t dress the part – or at a minimum look people in the eye, say hello and smile). Just statistically most hate crimes are committed by guys in their teens and early 20s who are trying to prove themselves. It would be interesting to find out more about the two victims and the shooter – to see if they fit the profile and to learn what triggered the shooting.

I’m not all that put off by the shooting. It’s a bit concerning, but especially with Windows on 123 selling well, it’s just a matter of time before things change. What’s really important it to just not put up with stuff, but also distinguish between things that are just unsightly (like guys hanging out drinking) and things that are dangerous (like drug dealing). It’s the stuff that leads to violence that needs to be stamped out…

If you’re doing a renovation make sure you have a security camera on the front of your building that’s aimed at the street. It makes a difference. With security cameras the police can solve crimes much more quickly and guys with violent tendencies find other, less visible, places to conduct their business.

UPDATE:

From the NY Post Police Blotter…

A dispute in Harlem escalated into a deadly shooting, cops said.

Kwabena Poku, 23, allegedly argued with a foe at 8:50 p.m. Thursday before returning to his apartment building at 135 W. 123rd St. to talk to his girlfriend.

He stepped outside moments later and was gunned down in a hail of bullets, cops said.

Poku, who had been arrested this month on marijuana charges, was pronounced dead at Harlem Hospital.

Another victim, Tony Graham, 48, was shot in the leg, cops said, and was in stable condition at Harlem Hospital.

The marijuana charges are sorta expected – I was talking to someone who said he was hanging out with the victim a little before the incident and he said the guy was smoking up. I wasn’t exactly sure what drug he was referring to (and didn’t want to ask). I’m a little relieved it was just pot.

Apparently there are security cameras on the building, so hopefully they’ll catch the shooter quickly.

There’s an MMPCIA meeting tonight at 7pm at Rice High School where it will be discussed. We’ll be going. Hopefully we’ll learn more…

UPDATE #2:

Last night the police said they have clear video identifying the shooter and they know who he is, BUT they can’t make an arrest because no one is willing to step forward to be a witness. When we passed by less than two hours before there were probably 15 or 20 people hanging out across the street around #136. I’m sure a fair number of them were still there when the shooting happened and if nothing else the other shooting victim saw the shooter. IMHO, it’s sorta absurd that a murderer is walking the streets because people don’t want to talk to the police.

That said, the “good” news is that it apparently was not random violence. The shooting stemmed from a dispute over a woman. Still, a bystander did get shot, so there is an element of random violence.

UPDATE #3:

Dan was talking to someone on the block today and got a slightly different story. The person saw the shooting and said neither the shooter or the victim lives on the block or even in the neighborhood, though the victim was the “baby’s daddy” of a woman in the building where the shooting occurred. Apparently both were African guys (as opposed to African-Americans), and they both lived in the Bronx. He also said the dispute had something to do with rival bootleg DVD businesses in the Bronx. Given that the Police said the dirt bike guys who create problems are from the Bronx, it seems like crime from the Bronx is spilling over into Harlem.

Politicians Aren’t Priests

June 12, 2011 in Politics with 0 Comments

I don’t get the whole “Weinergate” thing… I mean we don’t elect the guys to be our priests. We elect them to represent us on political matters. From what I saw Anthony Weiner did a great job representing his constituents. So what’s the problem? The only thing you can say against him is that his personal life was a distraction, but it was only a distraction because people made a big deal of it.

anthony weiner chest

Yeah, (unless he and his wife had an open relationship) chasing skirt less than a year after he got married makes him a bit of a schmuck, but if we took all the schmucks out of Congress there wouldn’t be many people left there to get stuff done.

The only person who should really care about what he did is his wife. It’s not really anyone else’s business.

(BTW – nice chest!)

Jay Harper Gets 30 Months For Jewlery Heist

May 29, 2011 in News with 0 Comments

I have a Google Alert set up for my name – “Jay Harper”. This morning there was a funny story about a Jay Harper over in England… Last August he and his buddy Dean Lennox took public transit (a bus) to go rob a jewelry store – Kemps Jewellers in Westbury-on-Trym (just north of Bristol). They had arranged for another of their buddies, Richard Baker, to pick them up and drive them home and they offered him £10 to do it. Thing is, they didn’t tell Richard what they were doing. All of a sudden Jay and Dean jump into his car all excited and out of breath and he thought something might be up. Then they offered him a watch at which point he really knew something was up.

In the end Jay & Dean stole £16,000 worth of jewelry. They eventually got caught. Jay has been sentenced to 30 months in prison, Dean hasn’t gone to trial yet.  Richard, the hapless £10 getaway driver, has been sentenced to 8 months in prison even though he hadn’t intended to be involved in robbing a jewelry store.

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